RINGIN' in the New Year!!

Hello readers!

Have I got some "Dance Worthy" news for you!

By popular demand, It's finally here!! :) THE post!

Brace yourself, it's a long one :)

I'm sorry it has taken so long, but things have just been super crazy the past few days!

But here it is: the story of the most wonderful proposal ever:

So, I must preface the post by explaining J-dubb's Christmas present idea for me this year :

He decided to do the 12  days of Christmas - so for 12 days, I got presents couting down from 12 - 1, with the understanding that "1" was going to be my main present and the others were fun, happy presents such as.

Day 12 - a bouquet of 12 roses :)

Day 11 - two cylinder canisters of chocolate truffles - which looked like a number 11 when you stood them next to each other

Day 10 - Mandisa's "What if We Were Real" CD with 10 songs on it

Day 9 - A $9 Sonic gift card

Day 8 - 8 Hershey's kisses

Day 7 - 7 gallons of gas that he put into my car without me knowing :)
Day 6 - 6 banans because he's "bananas" about me ;)
Day 5 - instead of 5 golden rings, 5 ring-pops :)
Day 4 - 4 ounces of antibacterial Bath and Body lotion lol - he gave me two bottles with 2 ounces each in them (travel size)
Day 3 - 3 packs of gum "delivered" by a Santa Claus rubber duckie
Day 2 - 2 little stuffed catepillars in honor of a camp I love and have worked for several years known as Chrysalis
Day 1 ---- oh...just this:

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*Insert dozens of smiley faces and "hoorays!" and "woohoos!"

So, story time:
It was on New Year's Eve and a complete and utter surprise - which is what I always wanted :)
I spent the first part of the day with my extended family on my dad's side doing our Christmas celebration. We ate, opened presents, and then got ready to head to my grandfather's house to wait for the New Year. Jdubb and I had planned a couple of weeks earlier for him, his mom and dad - Judy and Ronnie, and brother - Craig to come down that night to see my grandfather's massive display of Christmas lights and celebrate New Year's with us.

   

 (see what I mean by "massive"?)

It was also the day I was scheduled to get my "1" Christmas gift from Jdubb.
So, I knew they were coming, and my understanding was that Jdubb would arrive first, because he was going to bring his own car, so he could spend the night ( which he did often, but ALWAYS in a separate bed than me lol - just to clarify) that night when his family went back to Cleveland.
So, after my family and I opened gifts, I called Jdubb - found out he was planning on getting there around 4:30. So, my two aunts - Cindy and Krissy, and my 13-year-old cousin - Katelin, took our time getting cute for the New Year's Eve celebration.
*I include this detail because for anyone who knows me - you know that I normally would've gone in comfy clothes - maybe even pajamas for a New Year's celebration. However, my dad and aunt had devised a scheme to make sure I was dressed up without giving away what would happen. The night before, my Aunt Cindy - who dresses cute 24/7  had "randomly" asked Aunt Krissy, Katelin, and I if we wanted to dress cute for our party so we could all take pictures with the lights. We all readily agreed :)
So, when I got done getting dressed, I noticed my Aunt Cindy with her suitcase (you think I'm kidding) full of fingernail polish at the kitchen table doing her nails. I asked her if she would do French tips on mine and she agreed quickly. ( I really made this whole thing easy for them to make me look cute with pretty fingernails and I didn't even know what was happening :P )
Just as my nails are drying, Jdubb shows up and the rest of my family leaves to head to Pap's (Pap is our nickname for my grandfather). Jdubb and I followed shortly after, and I noticed that he made the normal 10-minute drive into a 15ish minute drive, but I thought he just wanted some "just us" time before we got there.

(If you like music while you read, click play :) if not, carry on - this song seems to sum up everything I'm feeling about heading into a marriage with this man)

Anywho, we arrived at Pap's and Jdubb asked me if I wanted to take a walk. It was nearly dark at this time, so we strolled through the side yard of Christmas lights and made our way to the back. When I saw the backyard,  I noticed a lot of white paper laterns hanging that hadn't been there before. I thought that Pap had jsut been really creative and thought of a new decoration.

*Pause for background info: If you haven't seen the movie Tangled, there is a scene with a lot of floating lanterns that I have always thought was absolutely gorgeous*
so when I exclaimed about how pretty they were - Jdubb responded with, "yeah, looks kinda like Tangled, huh?" His answer caught me by surprise and I began to wonder if he had set them up as part of my final Christmas present. He then led me over to a tree near the edge of the lake. I didn't notice it at the time, but there were silver swans hanging from the tree and we stood under them for awhile.
*Pause again for background info - My brother, Russell died 7 years ago. While he was alive, he always had this funny thing he would do that we called "swan attacks" in which he would act completely silly while proclaiming to us how "pretty" he was "like a swan." It was completely silly and hard to describe if you didn't know him  - but hilarious and some of our favorite memories of him. So, since his death, the swan has sorta become a symbol we associate with him and even had one engraved on his headstone. So, the swans were Jdubb's way of honoring Russell :)

                                                                     :) :)
While we stood under the swans, Jdubb began telling me about how a conversation we had a few days earlier about what God teaching me the freedom of trusting Him and being able to be confidant about the future because He is always faithful - despite our circumstances - to be good and loving and care for us. (see my previous blog-post for more information on what He taught me about that). Jdubb told me that our conversation had reminded him of a verse from Proverbs 31 (verse 25) that says

"strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the days to come"

and that he was thankful to have the opportunity to be able to laugh at the days to come with me. Then he just reaffirmed that we could indeed laugh at the future even though we didn't know what would happen.

Afterwards, he lead me over to the pier and told me to close my eyes. He took me a little ways out onto it, and then with our backs to the house and the backyard, he let me open my eyes. He took out his Bible and began reading to me from Phillipians. The verses he read were about Paul telling the church how thankful he was for their partnership in the gospel and that he thanked God for them every time he thought of them. Paul also encourages them to keep following Christ and exorts them to trust Him.
*These verses were the same verses that Jdubb wrote to me in the very first note he ever wrote me
After reading this to me, Jdubb told me how thankful he was for me and my encouragement and partnership in the gospel, and the opportunity to pursue me. He told me how blessed he considered himself to be to get the chance to puruse my  heart and seek my affection, and also how thankful he was for how we could sharpen each other and encourage each other in seeking Christ.
(All this time I thought it was just part of his present to me - I never guessed a proposal was coming!)
However, I figured it out when he said, "So, I wanted to tell you all of this, and I also wanted to tell you that...I love you..
*I knew he was going to propose when he said this, because a long time ago we agreed that we would not tell each other we loved each other until we were engaged. We wanted to guard our hearts and emotions, and not give away any of our heart or devotion to each other that would be intended for our future spouses. So, by not saying "I love you" we were just trying to protect ourselves from giving away too much affection or devotion prematurely*
So, he said, "I love you....and this is why..."
Then he turned me around and I saw that on each board of the pier he had written something about me that he loved. He walked backwards and led me down the pier and as I stepped on each board, he read it to me.

When we got to the end of the pier, he said, "so...I have a question for you..." he got down on one knee (between two glass swans that were perched there) and pulled another swan from a hole he had dug that had my ring around its neck.
Then, he said the words every girl waits to hear... " will you mary me? 

I was sobbing by this point and tearfully said, "of course! yes!"

He stood up and we hugged and kissed and cried and laughed.....

then he paused after a moment and let out a loud "WOO!". ( I had figured out by now that my family was in on this, so I thought that was their signal to come outside) but suddenly from the neighbor's yard, fireworks started erupting all over the place and cheering was coming from everywhere!

My family ran onto the back porch and cheered and a bundle of our best friends (most of which drove almost 3 hours just to be there) came running from the neighbor's yard cheering and laughing and crying.

Then our secret photographer emerged - Angela Waller - and took lots of pictures of our group and pointed out to us that she had even rigged a video camera to capture the proposal! :)

*cue applause!*

I found out that Jdubb had gone to both of my parents and asked their permission beforehand, and had my family helping him set everything up for over a week :D

And the reason I didn't notice all of our friends and his family's cars at the house was because they had all parked them down the road and carpooled with my uncle - sneaky sneaky :)
It was THE most wonderful proposal I could EVER imagine and the absolute best night of my life.

I am SOOOO blessed to be marrying this man. The whole thing is the clearest picture to me of God's faithfulness and delight and GRACE in giving good gifts to His children. Ever since I was 16, I have given the pen of my love story to Jesus and asked Him to write it for me - because He not only knows best, but He knows ME best. I trust His judgement and plans for me more than my own, because I never know WHAT I want.

I asked Him to hold and protect my heart and not to let me give it to anyone other than my husband. He was faithful to do so - He has shut so many doors and told me no about several potential guys I was interested in.
It was SO frustrating at times, but He taught me how to guard my heart and preserve it along the way - and then He introduced me to Jdubb. I told Jdubb from the very beginning that he was "not what I expected but exactly what I needed" and only God would have known that.

Jdubb is the most wonderful, BEST match for me - I know that I could not ask for a better man for me. God protected me from what I THOUGHT was right, and guided me to what really was.

Ladies, if you're feeling discouraged and wondering if there are any true princes still out there - TRUST ME, I HAVE SEEN IT - give your love story to the Auther of Romance and just watch what He can do :) He'll blow your mind and show you that His dreams for you far surpass your own dreams for yourself. No, we don't deserve it - none of us do. That's what makes His grace so amazing :)

IT IS WORTH WAITING FOR - YOU are worth waiting for too :) and you deserve to be fought for by a man who knows the value of your heart.
Truth.
Men, there are women out there waiting for their princes. Man up and fight for them. You have what it takes - you were made to be a warrior in the image of a warrior-God. :) Give your love story to God and watch Him turn you into a warrior prince and provide you with the helpmate of a lifetime :)

THANK YOU SO MUCH to all of you who were a part of this and who are a part of our lives. I'm THRILLED to start this new journey with Jdubb and see what God has in store for us.

I love you all!!! :D

 I am DEFINITELY dancing right now :D

p.s. we have set our wedding date - so everyone, save July 28, 2012 !

:D :D :D :D

p.s.If you want to follow this blog - check out the column on the right side of the blog that says "google friends connect" or somethign like that. It will allow you to receive updates on when I update the blog.
-I will also post on facebook and/or twitter when there are updates
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Tired of Being Tired?

Hello lovely readers!
I hope you have all had the most wonderful Christmas holiday experiences! I know in my last post I said to meet me here "tomorrow" - and "tomorrow" was over a week ago, but things got a little busy around here. Of course there's the Christmas festivities, but my dad also had neck surgery last Thursday, so I've become a full-time nurse, homemaker, and care-taker. WHEW!
In my last post, I invited you to join me on the journey of learning to dance in the freedom and joy and grace offered to us through a relationship with God through Jesus. I also asked the question "is anyone else tired of being tired?" Little did I know that this week God was going to illuminate one of the sources of my tired-ness:
This past week I became so stressed out with the various responsibilties that came with the Christmas season and with taking care of my dad. Add those onto my constant quest to make everything happy and comfortable for everybody in my family at all times and you come out with one tired female.
My soul knew what was up and tried to tell me that I needed to get away and glean from Jesus for strength and power, but I didn't listen. Consequently, my soul felt heavier, grew tired, and joy became surface. Thankfully, God decided to draw me to Him and open my eyes to my need and desire for Him, and pulled me up a chair to sit with Him for awhile.

At first, I came to him with several questions that I had been debating over the break about some opportunities to lead small-groups during Disciple Now weekends that are coming up. He, in return, pulled out a question about another issue that I thought was un-related. (He does this a lot to me - and I used to wonder why He always wanted to talk about something other than my problem. It took me awhile to figure out that when He does that, He IS talking about my problem - the root of it.)
You see, there's a reason He is called the Great Counselor. I've attended several counseling sessions in my life and found that what makes a great counselor is one who can see past the surface level of the problem you're presenting and can ask the right questions to guide you to see and address the real problem. The root that is causing the problem you thought was the real issue.
So, when I brought my question about leading a group of girls in a study on persecution to followers of Christ, He brought up my confusing and conflicting feelings on His words in the New Testament about caring for one's family vs. abandoning everything to follow Him.

1 Timothy 5:8
But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever."

Luke 14:26
"If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple."

My response to these verses was very eloquent and wise:
"ummmm.....huh???"

As I sat and wondered about these verses, I remembered a tweet by John Piper containing a reference to this very dilemma. So, I decided to see what he had to say about it and after reading several articles and posts about this topic, I found one that summed it up nicely and to the point at Missions Untold .
As I read this post and the comment by Steph Bell underneath it, God pinpointed a very crucial issue in my faith.
Part of Steph's comment read:
"That was the first time  I realized I had been emotionally, and mentally, and I'm sure 'spiritually' carrying more than I should have been. It was not my fault that the world was coming down on my family while I was gone...and it's not my responisbility to be the savior."

That comment pierced deep, as God revealed to me that a source of fear and insecurity with the thought of facing persecution is the notion that either I or a loved one could die because of it. I realized how tightly I hold onto my loved ones for fear of losing them, and while I know that if I did die, I would be gloriously whole in heaven, it still scared me to my core to think of leaving my family and loved ones behind.
You see, I often place undue pressure on myself and try to be the one to take care of too much in my family - I try to make sure they are happy, protect them from physical or emotional danger, prevent awkwardness or tension, present Jesus to them and try to urge spiritual growth, make sure they feel appreciated, loved, and included in all things at all time (and I do all of this with divorced parents -which makes it twice as tricky) - and I absolutely get SO stressed with trying to make everyone in my family's life happy and wonderful and spiritually fulfilling. I try to be God. I try to be my family's Savior.
NO WONDER I'M TIRED.
Don't get me wrong, we are called to care and love and share Jesus with family - but are never called to SAVE our family - because we simply are not able. We are also not able to heal family from the hurts and pains of sin or loss - that is a God-sized job. If I could save my family, heal them, provide for them, protect them, smooth away all concerns and issues, there would be no need for Jesus.

As God revealed this to me, He showed me through His word that He can indeed be trusted to be GOD of my family and their Savior, provider, and healer ... and that I cannot do that no matter how hard I try. I would have expected this to be a frustrating lesson to learn - to find that there was absolutely nothing I could do to change situations, and that God really was the only one who had any control here. But you know what I found? ..... relief.
I found relief that my small human frame was not able and, therefore, not expected to be GOD. It sounds so simple, right? But how many of us are pulling our hair out trying to do that very thing?
How many of us are TIRED from trying to do God's job?
A book by Joan C. Webb that is absolutely one of the best books I've ever read has some great insights on this:

My sit-down with Jesus tonight ended with this simple prayer that I journaled:
"Thank you for your faithfulness (despite my faithlessness). I'm sorry for clinging to things - to people. My hands are tired from holding on so tightly. My soul is even more tired.
I want to trust that you are God and will be God over all situations. I can glimpse the freedom that would be found in that. I already feel lighter. I already see how this can allow me to dance :) <---yes I did put actually put a smiley face in my prayer to God lol. I choose to believe He finds it adorable :) .
Jesus, please keep teaching me this. Playing God is no longer my preferred role."

So, sweet friends, I pray that you will find the relief in letting God be God - in believing that He is who He says He is, and that He can do what He says He can do.

^I got that last little saying from Beth Moore and her book "Believing God".

Source: google.ca via Michelle on Pinterest

I have not fully learned this lesson, but I'm focused on it tonight. I'm praying to be focused on it tomorrow as well - and the next day - and the next..until it becomes a regular focus in my everyday life.
I'm learning to let God be God ... and in the process.... I'm learning to dance :)

Source: brightboldbeautiful.blogspot.com via Sherri on Pinterest

And So We Begin...

Wow, so here it is: the official first blog post....3...months...later....
I've had this blog just sitting and waiting for a post since November. So, first things first, I must give a very large thank you and acknowledgement to  Brea from Utterly Chaotic Designs!

Brea designed this entire blog with absolutely no helpful directions from me - and look what a wonderful job she did! Seriously, do not underestimate this girl. I was probably one of the most difficult customers EVER, because I am a baby blogger and had zero idea of how to describe what I wanted. I didn't even know what half of the buttons or titles or sidebars that she created for me were. She was extremely patient in explaining the uses of them and in working with me to create a look I would (and do!) love. Also, she had to do all of that while I was unable to access a computer and give her frequent feedback. So, THANK YOU, BREA!!! I LOVE IT!!

*cue applause*
I wish I had gotten around to posting on here sooner, but school and the lack of a computer and procrastination have made that difficult. But now it is that blessed season of life known as CHRISTMAS   BREAK.
AKA the time to catch up on sleep, family, books you actually want to read, and breathing...(I hear that last one is quite important)  :)
Like I said, I'm extremely new at this, so bear with me as I learn how to make posts prettier with pictures and liveliness I googled the "grab me" buttons and strike-through text. But for this initial post, I want to just share with you all what I want this blog to be about.
The title "Learning to Dance" is about this fabulous journey that God has started leading me through in learning to actually live in the grace and joy He offers - really, learning to live as if there really is a God. So many of us proclaim Him and even build our lives around the idea of Him, but we're walking around with the burdens and weights of this world as heavy on our shoulders as those who don't acknowledge Him at all.
I started wondering where the peace and hope and faith and JOY was that was supposed to be a trademark of the Spirit we receive when we follow Christ. I mean, I know some non-believers who seem to be much happier than a lot of believers I know.
So, I finally brought this question to Jesus one day, and He started a wonderful process of showing me what it means to really know Him and how that brings the freedom and joy to dance through life, rather than trudge through it with our shoulders slumped and a hopeless outlook.
Is anyone else tired of being tired??
If so, then please join me in this journey of learning to dance. He has already shown me so much, but I am completely certain that I have a LOT to learn. I would love to have fellow followers learning with me and offering your own insights or wisdom that you have learned along the way.
So, meet me back here tomorrow?
Until then, check out my friend Amber, who was my inspiration to begin blogging:


and who is a  MUCH better writer than me and one of my best friends on the planet,
and then hop on over to http://jessica-calvery.blogspot.com/ to find my other best friend's lovely blog that always has worthwhile reading material :)

Merry Christmas!!!