Dear Christian, Follow Jesus....

I've been thinking a lot lately about the overflowing, immeasurable ways God has blessed me in my last year and a half of being a student at NOBTS. While thinking of these blessings, I can't help but realize an alarming truth: I almost missed them.

I didn't want to come to New Orleans. That was NEVER in my plans. It took me long enough to surrender to God's call to go to seminary and sign up for a life in ministry. I had other plans - GOOD plans. I was going to be a physical therapist and use that position as a way to love on hurting families. I had been through several months of physical therapy and the support and love I received from my therapists blessed me tremendously. In fact, my physical therapy assistant, Kelly, was one of the first people I cried with when I found out my parents were divorcing. I wanted to do that for other people. It was a good plan.
But it wasn't God's plan.
Ah, and that makes all the difference. :)

So, I said yes to seminary, and promptly ignored New Orleans. I never even so much as looked at their catalog. I researched Southeastern, Southwestern, Southern seminaries, but not New Orleans. I imagined living in Kentucky and North Carolina, and Texas, but not New Orleans. New Orleans was scary and unsafe - and haven't you heard about the people down there - hello Mardi Gras? Bourbon St? One of the leading cities for murder a few years ago - oh, and hurricanes. Yeah. No thank you.

Josh wasn't really interested in New Orleans either. We were only dating when we first started researching seminaries, so we tried not to plan around each other just yet, but we were on the same page when it came to our lack of desire to live in New Orleans. We actually decided to stop discussing our seminary plans until and if we got engaged. We wanted to make sure we were listening to God's calling and not the preference of each other.

And something strange started happening. God started pointing me to New Orleans. LET ME TELL YOU HOW MUCH I HATED THAT! I denied it, resisted it, yelled "please NO" in my prayers! I did NOT want to go there! But the call was persistent, and God wouldn't let go.
Then came the night Josh proposed (SUPER sweet night, btw, find the story here). We started talking about the future, and he said, "I know this might be unexpected, but I really feel like God has been leading me to New Orleans for seminary." My mouth dropped open and I kinda blurted out, "Oh! Me too!"

And just like that, we were headed for New Orleans.

I still wasn't excited about it. I told people I was, but I was scared to death. The first few months of living here, if Josh left the apartment and went anywhere in the city, I spent the whole time praying for his safety - terrified he would be hurt while out in this terribly scary city. I was SO SCARED. ALL the time. It was incredibly uncomfortable.

But I started to see God's provision for us. I saw the way he always kept our bills paid - even when we couldn't find jobs at first. I saw Him provide OVER and BEYOND for our tuition needs. I saw Him anticipate medical bills and provide for them before we even knew we were sick. I saw Him bless us for no apparent reason at all. I began to understand God as my provider in ways I never knew before.

I was terribly homesick. I missed my mom and dad and friends. I still miss them :) but I've made such sweet, edifying friendships here. I've found people who speak honestly and lovingly to me. I've found a community that lives life like the church in Acts.

"Now the full number of those who believed were of one heart and soul, and no one said that any of the things that belonged to him was his own, but they had everything in common." Acts 4:32

This is practiced daily in my life. People give things (EXPENSIVE things like couches, beds, TVs) away - for FREE! Cars are shared, food is shared, and no one hordes their extra. It's beautiful. It's the way it was meant to be.

I also began to see people really living their lives together with Jesus always as the focal point. It was a pleasant surprise to learn that praying for each other is a common way of life here. Friends praised God with me in the victories, and carried me in prayer in the stressful times. God's love was put on display for me in such real and practical ways.

Then, God started this huge work in my life to bring about healing for wounds I didn't even know I carried. Through this process, I have come to know God as SO indescribably GOOD - really TRULY GOOD - BETTER than the worst my life has thrown at me. Knowing God this way is worth any discomfort the move here brought about.

Today, I'm writing this post after receiving yet another, God-given-for-no-special-reason-at-all blessing financially. I work full-time for the seminary now, as a recruiter. I now recruit people to come to the very place I said I would never go. How's that for God's sense of humor? ;) I just left a meeting during which our President, Dr. Kelley explained how God had provided for a budget shortfall we were facing this school year. It was a miracle and nothing less. God provided. HUGELY! And my view of God grew a little bit bigger.

I think that's my theme of this blog. Since following God's call to New Orleans, my view of God has grown and grown and grown and every time I think I can't be more amazed by Him, He blows my mind again.

So, I say to you:
Dear Christian,
Follow Jesus. Wherever He goes. Follow Him. It will be uncomfortable. At times it will be scary. You might not see how it can possibly work out, but follow Him. Getting to see God outside of your "box," getting to see Him care for you, provide for you, grow you - it's worth it all. He is worth it all.

I'd like to think I will always have this mentality, but I know me. I'm sure the next time Jesus calls me somewhere I don't want to go, I'll need a fresh reminder of this message myself - which is part of my motivation for writing this post. Dear future Amber, follow Jesus. Follow Him wherever He is calling. It's worth it. I promise. Remember how He came through. Remember the work He has done in your life. Follow Him.

I'll end this with a summary from Dr. Kelley a few months ago in chapel:

Following the Lord does not require so much courage as it does obedience. It's okay to be scared while you're being obedient. Obedience is actually synonymous with courage, because to follow obediently when you are scared looks an awful lot like courage.

Follow Jesus.
There is no better place to be than where the God of the universe is leading you.

Beignet...Done That.

Whew! It's been awhile since I've posted on here, but let's just say life hasn't been handing out a lot of free time these days and what little free time it does lend, I spend sleeping. Having a wedding to plan, a senior capstone project to coordinate, on campus activities, and senior year of college all at the same time can be a bit overwhelming. This past week was one of those weeks where I didn't dance, I barely even walked straight. My shoulders were slumping as much as the cornners of my mouth with feelings of defeat, inadequacy, and my all-time unfavorite - imperfection.

It's such an obvious concept - we're imperfect - all of us - and we'll never be perfect. But, I think I can speak for millions of people by saying that even though I know that, I still subconsciously beat myself up for falling short. So, when life gets bigger than I can handle and I don't respond to everything with grace and love and smiles, don't look at every situation as an opportunity to show Christ's love, don't seek to serve others in all that I do, then I feel like I've messed up. I feel like a failure. This past week was one of those weeks, but thankfully, I have a great big wonderful Jesus friend that loves to take a weary heart and give it not only rest, but joy. :)

I LOVE it when Jesus seemingly comes out of nowhere and takes my messed up views, hurt feeilngs, and burdens and reminds me that He was there all along, He knew about it, and He cared about it - even though I didn't always remember to go to Him with it. This weekend was one of those times.

On Friday, Jdubb and I went with 4 of our friends and Jdubb's pastor to go check out New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary.

 We had to leave at 3:30 AM ( A.M.!!!!!) , so most of us didn't even go to sleep except for the entire way there and back. Despite our lack of sleep, we were all in good spirits and excited to be going. It was an absolutely WONDERFUL trip.

 We were able to tour the campus, meet several people - including one of the counseling professors (which is what I'm going to study), some prospective employers, and visit the residence halls and... married housing!! :) We also got to tour downtown New Orleans a little - which is a very ummm... odd...but very interesting scene, and I got to try my very first New Orleans beignet.

Which is where my title came from "beinget...done that." Get it? like, "Been there, done that." :) punny.

It was so exciting to see a preview of what our life could look like next year and get some answers to our questions.
Our trip was full of laughter, confirmation of the calling and direction God seems to be leading Jdubb and I in, and rest from the toil of the week. I felt very peaceful and watched over by my Daddy in heaven while we were there, which was good, because at the same time I was very aware of the stretching and growing God had in store for me there. This Delta girl was being taken out of her Delta bubble and it was an uncomfortable, yet wonderful experience.
We got home Friday night around 9:00 and played dominoes until about midnight. We all slept until lunch time the next day, giving us about 12 hours of beautiful, holy sleep. Lol seriously, I believe there are times when Jesus annoints sleep in order to revive a weary soul. I think this was one of those times - I woke up feeling SO refreshed. Then I got to spend my Saturday cleaning a little, wedding planning a little, spending sweet, un-pressured time with Jdubb, and most importantly, getting some good quality time with Jesus.
My Jesus time started with reading one of the two books I purchased while on our New Orleans trip called Grace for the Good Girl by Emily P. Freeman.

 and I am SOOOOOO loving it. I read the first chapter yesterday and journaled 3 pages about it. God used it to reach in deep and pull out some ugly, painful wounds that I'd been repressing. He showed me these and then showed them to me for what they truy were - not scary, overwhelming, horrible disease that would rule and take over my life as I'd been fearing - but simply wounds that He was capable of healing; and He started to, right then and there.
I feel like I could write for days about what God did in my life this weekend and the restoration He gave, but I'll save some of it for later :) and I'll end by giving public thanks and praise to Him for His merciful hands of grace that reach in and rescue His weary children.
Stay tuned over the next week for more information on that and the wonderful freedom I've already found and pray to continue finding through Christ's counsel to me through this book and this weekend and His never-ending love and grace. In the meantime, check out Emily's blog at www.ChattingAtTheSky.com to find what she calls a community of "grace dwellers." Now who doesn't want to be a part of that? :)

Who knew Jesus could use a trip to such an infamous city as New Orleans to bring my dancing feet back? Learning that His ways are not my own, learning I really can trust Him, learning that He really does care-even more than I do, learning that He IS good - all the time, and in the process, learning to dance... :)