I'd rather be honest.
In fact, one thing I learned this week is WHY I might have this tendency to write this way:
My pastor's wife, Terri, posted this article, 1 Thing Your Daughter Doesn't Need You to Say, on Facebook a few weeks ago and while reading it I felt like I was gulping huge thirsty gulps from water I never knew I needed.
Take a minute and read that article.....I'll wait :)
Back? Good...so how about this part of the article:
"And when she hears adults tell her to be an example, she thinks that means she can never mess up, can never have problems, can never just be a teenager with struggles like everyone else.
She might then mature into a woman who believes being a Christian means having it all together, saying all the “right” things, staying a few steps above everyone else.
She may become a person people look up to, but she will never be someone they can relate to.
She may be successful at managing her behavior, but she will always struggle to manage people’s opinions.
She may have a great reputation, but her character will be clouded with bitterness and anger.
She may be a good church-goer, but she will not know how to be a good friend.
This may keep her out of trouble, but it will suffocate her soul.
.....She already is a light in a dark place, but here is the part most of us forget when we’re telling our teenagers to be an example:
Her light comes from Jesus, not from her awesome behavior."
I believe I was just handed a mirror and saw my reflection more clearly than ever before.
I can't remember my parents actually ever telling me anything other than to be myself and that I was loved just as I was.
So, I don't know who spoke the message, but I definitely heard it. Be good. Be consistent. Smile. Christians should be happy. Don't struggle. Don't doubt. If you doubt, what's that going to look like to non-believers. SHOW CHRIST. They are all watching you.
Yeeesh. What's a Jesus-loving-"good-girl" to do? Well, she smiles and volunteers a lot, she doesn't complain about her life, she makes straight "A's", joins lots of clubs, becomes an officer in those clubs, plays sports, stays busy, leads numerous Bible studies, attends every Bible study offered, every youth retreat, college retreat, and leads in every D-NOW. She has a lot of fun, in all honesty, but all that fun is constantly accompanied by all the pressure.
Then...she burns out.
Somewhere I became convinced that if I struggled that same way as everyone else, then how on earth would people know that I was different because of Jesus? I thought being "set apart" (2 Corinthians 6:17) meant that I had to showcase nothing but the joy of the Lord at all times - after all, I didn't want God to appear over-hyped. I wanted to be the light in the dark places.
I don't think I understood that the light was not a result of my behavior - but of God, Himself.
2 Corinthians 12:9 started to make more sense to me: "But He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me."
I believed God's grace was sufficient for me, but I don't think I had truly grasped what that meant. I thought sufficient grace meant something like, "God is good enough and big enough that even during the worst times of my life, I should still be able to showcase His goodness through my joy and victorious outlook." I think I'm realizing though, that the sufficiency of God's grace means that even in my worst, darkest, ugliest moments, HIS grace and goodness is big enough to cover what I lack. He is good enough and big enough to showcase His glory and goodness, to overcome me and my situation and show He is good and He is God - and because HE is sufficient to do so, the responsibility of His glory being on display is not dependent upon my ability to keep smiling.
The reality is that God is enough to handle our biggest weaknesses. In his book, Dug Down Deep, Joshua Harris puts it this way:
"God is utterly different from me, and that is utterly wonderful. The fact that He's NOT like us is the reason we can run to Him for rescue."
Isaiah 55:8-9 says,
"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways declares the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts your thoughts."
God is not like us. He is strong. He's unchanging. His love is steadfast. (Psalm 136:1) He is full of mercy and He does what we would never do. He dies for His enemies. (Romans 5:8)"
When I'm not strong, He is. When I'm inconsistent, He's faithful. When I'm unlovable, He's loving. When I'm guilty, He's merciful. When I fall short, He is sufficient.
He is sufficient for me, because I could never be sufficient for Him. He is far too holy for my measly attempts at "being good" to count for anything. It is only His grace and the saving work of Christ on the cross that declare me sufficient.
I love this reality. I love it so much!
I must be honest, though, I'm still learning this. I'm having to remember this every single day. My tendency is to lean so much more on my ability to be good than on God's ability to be God, but I've tasted this reality and I just want more of it.
I want to see and know and understand so much deeper His role of Savior, Redeemer, and GOD in my life - enough of my attempts to be "good enough", I'm ready to celebrate HIS goodness and the sufficiency of HIM.
Ahhh...that sounds like a dance waiting to happen :)
So, reader friends, don't read this post as one written by an expert - read it as one just learning - My light comes from Jesus, not from me writing or living like I know it all.
2 Corinthians 12:9 started to make more sense to me: "But He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me."
I believed God's grace was sufficient for me, but I don't think I had truly grasped what that meant. I thought sufficient grace meant something like, "God is good enough and big enough that even during the worst times of my life, I should still be able to showcase His goodness through my joy and victorious outlook." I think I'm realizing though, that the sufficiency of God's grace means that even in my worst, darkest, ugliest moments, HIS grace and goodness is big enough to cover what I lack. He is good enough and big enough to showcase His glory and goodness, to overcome me and my situation and show He is good and He is God - and because HE is sufficient to do so, the responsibility of His glory being on display is not dependent upon my ability to keep smiling.
The reality is that God is enough to handle our biggest weaknesses. In his book, Dug Down Deep, Joshua Harris puts it this way:
"God is utterly different from me, and that is utterly wonderful. The fact that He's NOT like us is the reason we can run to Him for rescue."
Isaiah 55:8-9 says,
"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways declares the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts your thoughts."
God is not like us. He is strong. He's unchanging. His love is steadfast. (Psalm 136:1) He is full of mercy and He does what we would never do. He dies for His enemies. (Romans 5:8)"
When I'm not strong, He is. When I'm inconsistent, He's faithful. When I'm unlovable, He's loving. When I'm guilty, He's merciful. When I fall short, He is sufficient.
He is sufficient for me, because I could never be sufficient for Him. He is far too holy for my measly attempts at "being good" to count for anything. It is only His grace and the saving work of Christ on the cross that declare me sufficient.
I love this reality. I love it so much!
I must be honest, though, I'm still learning this. I'm having to remember this every single day. My tendency is to lean so much more on my ability to be good than on God's ability to be God, but I've tasted this reality and I just want more of it.
I want to see and know and understand so much deeper His role of Savior, Redeemer, and GOD in my life - enough of my attempts to be "good enough", I'm ready to celebrate HIS goodness and the sufficiency of HIM.
Ahhh...that sounds like a dance waiting to happen :)
So, reader friends, don't read this post as one written by an expert - read it as one just learning - My light comes from Jesus, not from me writing or living like I know it all.
"I thank him who has given me strength, Christ Jesus our Lord, because he judged me faithful, appointing me to his service, 13 though formerly I was a blasphemer, persecutor, and insolent opponent. But I received mercy because I had acted ignorantly in unbelief, 14 and the grace of our Lord overflowed for me with the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus. 15 The saying is trustworthy and deserving of full acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am the foremost. 16 But I received mercy for this reason, that in me, as the foremost, Jesus Christ might display his perfect patience as an example to those who were to believe in him for eternal life. 17 To the King of the ages, immortal, invisible, the only God, be honor and glory forever and ever. Amen."
1 Timothy 1:12-17
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