Dear "Future Amber" - A Letter About Your Marriage

Today marks one year of marriage to Josh :) It's been the BEST being married to this man! One year, 365 days,...it feels like yesterday! (You can see pictures of our wedding day here.)
365 days of having a sleep-over with my best friend
365 days of not having to say "goodbye" as he leaves to go to his own house
365 days of saying "hello" when we come home to each other
365 days of thanking God He let me have this man to call "husband"
365 days of blessing.

I wanted to write a blog about the joys of marriage or the lessons of marriage or just something to commemorate this first year's milestone...The more I thought about it, I decided I would just write a blog to myself...a reminder to "future me" of the blessings I've received through marriage and a warning to not take them for granted if "future me's" life gets busy and she forgets to be grateful. So...

Dear future Amber,
   You've been married one year on the day you're writing this. You're overwhelmed at what a good year it has been with this husband of your's. The first thing  I want you to pause and reflect on is what a gem this boy is. :) All the qualities you hoped for and prayed for in a husband....God blew them out of the water!! Take a minute and praise God for this GOOD gift He has given you. Thank Him for providing a husband that you know you are safe with. Thank Him for a husband that doesn't consider divorce an option. Ever. Thank Him for the security that gives you to be vulnerable, to be real, to be fully known and fully accepted.
  Thank Him for the way Josh seeks to serve you and demonstrate God's love to you. Thank Him that Josh gives you a clearer picture of the way God, Himself, loves you. Thank Him for coming through on His promise that if you would let Him have control of your love life, He would far exceed your expectations. Thank Him that so many younger girls have told you that they've made Josh their standard for a husband after seeing the way he loves you and loves Jesus even more. PRAISE HIM for that!! Praise Him for using your marriage to glorify Him, rather than satan using it to destroy lives. Thank Him for His power and the knowledge that HE is the reason your marriage works. It is His faithfulness that allows you and Josh to be faithful. Never forget that. Always remain dependent on the Lord's power and not your's or Josh's.
 
Also, never forget the things that are causing you to be so in love with Josh right now. It's your responsibility to keep these things in mind, to focus on the wonderful about him and let the negative take the back seat.

Don't take for granted the way he actively looks for ways to serve you -
-the way he does the dishes when you have to work all day
-the way he takes care of the cars and makes sure the tires are rotated, the oil changed, etc
-the way he makes the bed even though he could care less, but he does it because you like it
- the way he lets you pick the TV shows so often, even if it means he has to watch "Gilmore Girls" for the 80th time
-the way he offers to help anytime there's an event or something to prepare for
-the way he offers to help you cook
-the way he asks how your day was and honestly wants to know
-the way he notices and thanks you for working, cleaning, cooking, etc.
-the way he keeps a watchful eye on finances and is always planning, making sure bills are paid etc

Never take for granted the way he showers love all over your life and your families' lives:
-the way he never forgets a family member's birthday
-the way he prays for your families every night
-the way he makes sure to call parents, grandparents, etc on their birthday
-the way he "likes" and takes interest in the posts of your families on Facebook, just to make sure we're all in touch
-the way he sacrificed a summer trip to Missouri to go to Wisconsin for a week to meet your cousins from Washington for the first time

Always appreciate the way He makes Jesus and you his top priority in every circumstance:
-the way he loves to tell people about Jesus
-the passion he has for college students and leading them to Christ/ encouraging them on their walks
-how excited he gets about corporate worship times and  a good/deep sermon
-how he's not afraid to turn down a church/work obligation if he feels the two of you need some together-time more
-the way he loves to include you in his ministry
-the way he values your partnership

Always always appreciate the ways he steers your marriage to focus on Christ:
-the way he prays with you every night before bed
-the way he nudges and urges both of you out of bed in time for church every Sunday
-the way he takes time each week to ask you "where you are" in your walk with Christ
-the way he listens when you answer that question
-the way he is always seeking to learn the best ways to encourage your relationship with Christ
-the way he is always seeking to further his own relationship with Christ

Never take for granted the little moments of friendship that make up your daily lives:
-the way you quote movie lines in conversations and both laugh because you understand the reference
-the painstaking way he taught you this "skill" by quizzing you on movie quotes with yall's invented "Name that Movie" game
-the way you both still love to play that game
-the way you sing (usually badly on purpose) random lines of a song to each other in random moments throughout the day..."I love you baaaabbbyyyy...."
-the way this habit ended up with yall discovering "our song"  found below :)

-the way you found a love of jazz/easy listening music since being married to Josh
-the way you love to listen to him sing in the shower
-the way you laugh hysterically at episodes of  "The Office" that you've both seen a million times
-the way watching "Dumb & Dumber" with him makes you laugh 30x harder than if you watched it alone
-the way he sends you funny Whatsapp messages (usually involving the smiling poop emoticon)
- the way it's safe for you both to have your immature, completely silly moments together ^

And the mundane moments where nothing special is happening, nothing exciting...just day-to-day life as usual...those moments, when it's just nice that he's there doing the mundane with you.

And finally,
never take for granted the ways he seeks to let you know how much you're loved:
-the random flowers that pop up on special occasions and on "just because" days
-the way he calls you beautiful at least 12 times a day :) EVEN when you just wake up - true love right there, sister, and we both know it, cause 6:00 AM does NOT look good on us :)
-the way he hugs you and tickles your hand or grabs your knee, because his love language is physical touch
-the times you catch him staring and ask "what?" and he shrugs and says, "I just like looking at you."
-the way he writes you sweet notes affirming you and his love for you
-the way he considers weekly date nights as much of a priority as anything else on his schedule
Notice these moments. Don't let them become commonplace. These are moments to treasure. Never get so busy that you don't have time to simply enjoy these moments.

It's important to remember and notice all of these things. Don't take them for granted. They aren't "rights," they are gifts - gifts of marriage that need to be protected, remembered, kindled. It's your responsibility to cherish them. It's also your responsibility to let your sweet husband know you appreciate them, know you respect him, know how thankful you are for him. Never assume he just knows these things. TELL HIM. SHOW HIM. Be his first and biggest cheerleader! He is your man! Be thankful for him and let him know how thankful you are.

You've got a great husband, and the best best  friend you can imagine. Don't take a moment of this union for granted. It's too sweet to let it go to waste. Fight for the romance of your marriage. When kids come and schedules get busy, do what it takes to get some alone time. Budget for date nights. Keep them a priority. Guard your marriage and always keep Josh as your second love (right under God).

This marriage is a gift, a great gift. With it comes huge blessings, and huge responsibilities. Give it all you've got. Even in the times when you might feel like you're getting nothing in return. God is faithful. He loves to bless His children. Be faithful in your marriage. He will be faithful to cultivate it.
Never stop looking for the blessings in your marriage. Keep a thankful heart. Satan will hate this. He WILL attack.
Don't lose heart. God always wins.

Now, go kiss your husband and remind him how incredibly blessed you are to be his wife :)